Everyday Mindfulness

I'm Ann.

Although I've only really been wittingly practising mindfulness since last year, I got taught meditation at school & always found it relaxing. I got out of the habit though until a few friends recommended that I explore mindfulness.

I'm British. I enjoy reading, typing & singing. I've got an eclectic taste in both books & music. I write my own poems, stories & songs sometimes as well as other pieces. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone & seeing what everyone has to say.

Welcome to the site, Ann. Thank you very much for your introduction.

Thank you very much, Peter.

Hi Ann,
A very warm welcome to you.
Please feel free to make yourself at home here on the site.
Maybe you would like to write a piece about your mindfulness adventure? I'm the blog editor around these parts so please let me know if that is something that would interest you.
All good things,
Jon

Hi Jon!

Thank you very much. I'll contemplate it. My story might help & inspire other people. As someone who also writes poems & songs, I'd also have to think about whether I wrote it normally or poetically. I've got quite a few pieces on the go at the moment & am reading quite a lot but I'll let you know when I'm ready.

Thanks Ann.
That sounds great.
There's a host of blogs on our main page, in a wide variety of styles. They are widely read, promoted on social media, and hopefully benefit people in all sorts of ways.
Whenever you are ready...
Have a fab weekend.
Cheers,
Jon, Brighton

You're welcome, Jon.

That's great.

Have a nice weekend!

I'm very sorry that my original introduction included very little about my reason for exploring mindfulness to start with & how it's affected my life. The reason for that is I know there's a stigma attached to the conditions I suffered from & talking about the subjects I'd need to do in order to do that would be talking about things society normally classes as taboo subject. Although I'm telling the truth some people would class me as an attention-seeker for saying what I have to say but I'm not. I've been browsing the site though & noticed that I'm not alone in having been a sufferer of the conditions I'm talking about. I'm always here if anyone needs me to listen & I'll help anyone the best way I can. The topics I have to speak about are highly emotionally charged so I'll take a moment to compose myself before I start.

I must say, I think there are some very interesting & helpful posts & everyone seems friendly & helpful so far. It's a bit quiet though. I'm very sorry if I come across as a bit too verbose. I'm a bit nervous as I realise I haven't got to know everyone yet & I get rather loquacious when I'm nervous wondering how everyone is going to take me & how I'm going to fit in. I'm also looking forward to getting to know everyone.

As a result of being bullied for most of my life for various reasons which I unsuccessfully attempted to put an end to, I became anxious & depressed at 1 of the work-places I was in. (I used books as a refuge but found that it didn't work as well for work-place bullying as it had for school bullying.) I found it very hard to ask for help because of how some people who are supposed to help you speak to you & label you. I refused help from a couple of people because I found them too patronising. I accepted treatment from others who were willing to class me as someone with emotional difficulties. I went to self-esteem, confidence building & assertiveness courses which helped for a long time. Then later I went for C.B.T. which didn't work because I've got the pick everything up immediately without having the chance to think about it & remember it for ages learning style. I then had to care for all my family when I had 1 of my Aunt's die of a stroke & I had to see another Aunt die of lung cancer. All I could do at the time was sing certain songs which helped me, look through all my paper-work & write poems. Then things got better & I took my refuge in a book for a bit until my eyes started playing me up & the optician said I needed to give my eyes a break until I got my new spectacles. I couldn't read as much as I normally did & tears just came down my face. I was just crying on a whim then & I knew I couldn't do that so asked for help. The only advice I got for what to do while I was waiting my turn was drink less stimulants & take more exercise. As someone with slight bronchitis I can't run, as someone who needs spectacles all the time I can't walk & I can't balance or do headstands so I can't do yoga that left me with walking or learning to line-dance. Friends of mine suggested I explore mindfulness. Initially I did the mindfulness puzzles which helped & tried the colouring which I didn't have patience for but friends said I needed to read books to get the ideas behind it into my head so I went to the works & browsed their books. I got the books that had most meditations in & the least yoga & colouring in. I had already done meditation at school but got out of the habit when I'd had that much home-work to do I just had no time. I read the books & did the exercises & by the time I had my 1st 1 to 1 self-esteem boosting session I felt much better. I didn't realise until what was said in my 1st session how much better. I was discharged before I got half-way through my 1st session because I felt that much better I went from being moderate-severely depressed to normal that was in 4 months.

My idea of mindfulness & how I apply it to my everyday life.

It's the happy place behind all thoughts what you get to by not constantly remembering the past, anticipating what is going to happen in the future & concentrating on 1 thing at a time which is the thing that you're doing at that time when you're doing it. You remember the past when you need to, in order to learn from your mistakes or answer questions from it. You think of the future when you need to action-plan & you multi-task when necessary.

I do beach visualisation 1 day, breathing meditation another day, body scan another day, walking meditation another day & go to & fro between them. I tried music meditations but as someone who has always had to sing everytime I listen to music I feel the need to work out what song it is, what the words are, how it's sung & where I come in & then to sing. They were totally unsuccessful because I started singing then I was thinking "I'm not supposed to be singing, I'm just supposed to be concentrating on the music. I must not sing". Then I started singing again & so on.

I think the reason why mindfulness worked for me so much is because it slowed me down enough to allow me to give myself a break & not just believe all the bad things others say to me. It's also allowed me to do something that I couldn't do earlier. I like to think of our heads as book-shelves full of books. Sometimes some of the books get out-of-date, boring & unhelpful so you clear out the ones you don't need or like anymore to make room for new, interesting & helpful ones. In the same way that our heads hold so much information but some is out-of-date, no longer interesting & unhelpful you have to clear some of it out to make room for new, interesting & helpful information (before you forget the things you want to remember & remember the things you want to forget). Sometimes writing helps cement things in our heads but sometimes the fact you've written things on paper helps you forget things as your head thinks it no longer has to remember them so you can clear out by writing things you want to forget down, keeping it for so long before throwing it or shredding it. I'm in the process of giving my inner book-shelves a clear-out at the moment.

Even when I was suffering from anxiety & depression I never had concentration & memory problems which normally come with those conditions.