Grief
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:21 am
As some of you already know, my beloved dog Banjo went to sleep for the last time yesterday. He was old and tired. His health was in sharp decline. His time had come.
For more than thirteen years he was my near-constant companion and he was a great friend to me. I loved him dearly, immeasurably. He was, without doubt, one of the joys of my life.
This is a very sad time for me, a time of grief.
This is the first time I've had to deal with grief since taking up mindfulness and it's interesting to notice the difference. In the past (in the midst of a relationship break-up or a bereavement) I would do just about anything to avoid the waves of grief that reared up. There was a lot of drinking. There was a lot of wishing the feelings away. There was a lot of unhelpful narrative swirling around my mInd. There was a lot of stuff that not only didn't work, it prolonged the agony.
Over the past 24 hours I've noticed that I'm able to simply let the feelings and thoughts be. I've noticed that, if I choose not to label my sadness or think of it as something that I want rid of, it simply IS. And, if I can allow myself to be with that feeling, it comes and it goes and that's ok. Recognising it as internal weather and not wishing that it was any different than what it is in the moment, that's ok too. With a nod to Rumi's The Guest House, I'm laying out the welcome mat for my grief at this time. And I know deep in my heart that the healing has begun. There's something beautiful about it.
All good things,
Jon
For more than thirteen years he was my near-constant companion and he was a great friend to me. I loved him dearly, immeasurably. He was, without doubt, one of the joys of my life.
This is a very sad time for me, a time of grief.
This is the first time I've had to deal with grief since taking up mindfulness and it's interesting to notice the difference. In the past (in the midst of a relationship break-up or a bereavement) I would do just about anything to avoid the waves of grief that reared up. There was a lot of drinking. There was a lot of wishing the feelings away. There was a lot of unhelpful narrative swirling around my mInd. There was a lot of stuff that not only didn't work, it prolonged the agony.
Over the past 24 hours I've noticed that I'm able to simply let the feelings and thoughts be. I've noticed that, if I choose not to label my sadness or think of it as something that I want rid of, it simply IS. And, if I can allow myself to be with that feeling, it comes and it goes and that's ok. Recognising it as internal weather and not wishing that it was any different than what it is in the moment, that's ok too. With a nod to Rumi's The Guest House, I'm laying out the welcome mat for my grief at this time. And I know deep in my heart that the healing has begun. There's something beautiful about it.
All good things,
Jon