Possessed by a demon
Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 12:04 am
This is somewhat of a misleading title. I am not actually possessed by a demon. However I'd like to tell you what realization I've come to.
Back when I was interested in demons, spirits, souls and such topics, I was also curious about what my life would be like if I were possessed. I was wondering if I could actually fight off the demon trying to control me or my mind. I was almost fantasizing about the idea; how I would victoriously raise against whatever took control of me and regain my power.
Well, that must have been one of the greatest illusions I'd ever experienced. I was possessed. I have been possessed most of my life. It was not really demons per se, but thoughts, emotions, impulses, which I believed in beyond a shadow of a doubt. I knew they were true and, not only that, that I was also them. I did not experience anger, happiness, sadness, but rather I was angry, happy or sad. Little did I know that I had never really been any of those things. The best I have ever been was a puppet. I was fed information and I acted mindlessly. Now it's high time I broke this pattern and started acting mindfully.
Back when I was interested in demons, spirits, souls and such topics, I was also curious about what my life would be like if I were possessed. I was wondering if I could actually fight off the demon trying to control me or my mind. I was almost fantasizing about the idea; how I would victoriously raise against whatever took control of me and regain my power.
Well, that must have been one of the greatest illusions I'd ever experienced. I was possessed. I have been possessed most of my life. It was not really demons per se, but thoughts, emotions, impulses, which I believed in beyond a shadow of a doubt. I knew they were true and, not only that, that I was also them. I did not experience anger, happiness, sadness, but rather I was angry, happy or sad. Little did I know that I had never really been any of those things. The best I have ever been was a puppet. I was fed information and I acted mindlessly. Now it's high time I broke this pattern and started acting mindfully.
I like the way that you've portrayed all of this experience and it is something that you slowly begin to realise when practicing mindfulness, I agree.