Learning from Mindfulness

[piedwagtail91]

I all too easily fall into telling a narrative about myself, especially if I consciously try to be present. E.g. I can start thinking about how I would describe the moment in text, like on a forum.

It is kind of weird, because then I am actually observing myself closely, but on the other hand at least half of me is not in the moment, but in the narrative.

That's right. Thinking is past or future. Experience is the present.

[debbieko]

I all too easily fall into telling a narrative about myself, especially if I consciously try to be present. E.g. I can start thinking about how I would describe the moment in text, like on a forum.

It is kind of weird, because then I am actually observing myself closely, but on the other hand at least half of me is not in the moment, but in the narrative.

I do this too! Are there any suggestions on how to avoid this?

[JonW]

"Thinking is past or future. Experience is the present."

That's so beautifully put. Cuts right to the heart of this whole practice.
Jon

[piedwagtail91]

I all too easily fall into telling a narrative about myself, especially if I consciously try to be present. E.g. I can start thinking about how I would describe the moment in text, like on a forum.

It is kind of weird, because then I am actually observing myself closely, but on the other hand at least half of me is not in the moment, but in the narrative.

I do this too! Are there any suggestions on how to avoid this?

When you notice the narrative, let it go and without any fuss go back to the breath or whatever your awareness is resting on.
I'll be honest and say that I have a good number of days like that.
It's important not to let it get you down but keep letting it go and returning to your breath every time.
If you find it frustrating then it means life is giving you a lesson in patience☺

[debbieko]

Thanks piedwagtail, that is very helpful advice. I need to remember that these narratives are another form of thinking, and to refocus on the breath without giving the thoughts so much power. This forum has been so helpful to me (I tend to lurk rather than post). Sorry to piggyback onto someone else's thread!

[MiM]

Happy to have you here, debbieko, or anyone else who can relate to what I am writing. I actually wasn't thinking about meditation there, but more about doing stuff, like eating, mindfully. But yes, it happens to me during meditation also.

Over to posture.

I have been slowly training to sit without support for my back. Not so much because some gurus tell me that's how to do it, but because if I am going to sit mindfully for several hours a week, I want that sitting to help me gain a good general posture and musculature, not exercise my slouching.

When I started my practice, it was painfully clear that I couldn't sit still for half an hour without leaning against something. So I have been practicing free sitting for shorter times (10-15 minutes) and I've had a lot of help from a couple of good (i believe) guides on the web. What I especially learned from these was the importance of the slant of the pelvis, for getting a good angle in the back. http://www.freebuddhistaudio.com/texts/ ... _Guide.pdf and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FA599jvADE

Today, I was able to sit a full half hour in a free half lotus position, with only very minor pain in my back (although, my leg went horribly to sleep, but that's another story). I still struggle both with being relaxed while also unsupported and upright and with being mindful about pain, but I am hopeful that I will learn also these, with time.

I know how to tell an arm to go limp, but how do you relax those deep abdominal muscles, that aren't under direct control by the conscious mind?

[MiM]

I have now several times fallen asleep during sitting meditations, which is actually pretty amazing. Amazing, because I sit cross-legged with only a small support for my lower back and I have previously never been able to sleep in any kind of sitting position. OK, "never" is a tall word, but only occasionally when seriously tired, and with good support for both back and neck.

I know falling asleep during meditation is counterproductive, but I am nevertheless amazed that I relax my mind so much that this happens at all.

[Gareth]

I know falling asleep during meditation is counterproductive

Not necessarily so. Maybe you needed the sleep more than you needed the meditation?

[MiM]

I believe I'm in some kind of light depression, after sleepless nights, a lot of stress both at home and at work and a nasty flu on top of that. Especially I find it really difficult to activate myself with anything. The tiredness with the flu also made me stop doing proper sitting meditations, and I am still not back on them, although I have done some other stuff, like meditating to music, yoga and body scans.

Today was a wonderfully warm and sunny spring day. Here at Lat 60' we don't get many t-shirt days in April, but today was one. However, I spent all morning trying to solve some stuff on my computer and when I got aware of time, it was almost lunchtime and I still had the store to go to. That almost broke me completely, until I realized, I really don't have to do the store in this glorious weather, but can postpone it till tomorrow, when it's supposed to be rainy (hooray for free Sunday opening hours). So I almost run out of the door instead and started on a brisk walk. Soon I realized that I didn't get any kind of snack or drink before leaving and at the speed my legs were pushing me forward, that might end in a disaster. Luckily there were stores nearby, so I could pop in for something to get my sugar levels and hydration fixed... The forest already smelled of spring and the birds were giving quite a concert, I even saw a couple of butterflies out there.

So what does this ramble have to do with mindfulness? Mostly that even though my practice has been on the low side lately, I have mindfulness to thank for catching myself in time (a couple of times) and listening to what my real needs were. Fueling myself with sun and physical activity was so much more important than going to the store exactly today.

[JonW]

"I have mindfulness to thank for catching myself in time (a couple of times) and listening to what my real needs were."

That's a great way of putting it.