DBT /mindfulness /introduction

[Susiegreenbean]

I have (after many years of dealing with therapy due to BPD, anxiety, and agoraphobia) been directed to DBT. The core of DBT is mindfulness. And after a year of this therapy I still can't figure out what it is.

Sometimes DBT makes me feel so stupid. All these months in and mindfulness is still a term I can’t wrap my head around. That word is used as if it is the word “smurf” in a village of mushroom houses. It seems to have multiple conflicting meanings and is used so casually and in every form. It appears to be some incredible ticket to healing from mental illness. A sort of zen get out of jail free card. This word is thrown around with such ease by each group member including the counselor. It’s a sobering realization; that although they might struggle to “do mindfulness” that each group member (even the ones that have been there five minutes) understand the definition of it, the purpose of it, and the importance of it. And I’m left behind because I can’t keep up.

Having a misunderstood learning disability is really making DBT and mindfulness difficult. Sometimes I wish the DBT curriculum could be a little more individualized.

But I won't be able to continue DBT (the recommended treatment for BPD) unless I'm able to figure out this mindfulness thing. Which has lead me here.

So that's me.

Tumblr /susiegreenbean /BPD, DBT, and Me

[JonW]

Hi susiegreenbean,
Welcome to the forum.
If taught badly, the concepts that make up mindfulness can be tricky to grasp. Mindfulness is certainly not some incredible ticket to healing from mental illness. Nor is it a sort of zen get out of jail free card.
It might be useful for you to read up on the subject. One of the best introductions to mindfulness is Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go, There You Are. You can pick up a copy on Amazon for £6.
Alternatively, please feel free to post any specific questions on this forum and we'll do our best to answer them.
All good things,
Jon, Hove

[Gareth]

Hi Susie,

Thanks for coming and asking your question!

I can imagine it can be quite frustrating to have mental health issues and to constantly hear the word mindfulness bandied around as some kind of cure-all. It's not a cure-all, although if practised regularly, it can provide many benefits. I have read many accounts from people whose life has been changed by this practice, so I assure you, mindfulness can help. It's tricky though because every mind is different and the effect of the practice is different in every single one of us.

Take a look at some of the blogs on the main site. They will give you an idea what this practice is all about. This one in particular may be of interest to you: http://www.everyday-mindfulness.org/min ... charlotte/

Mindfulness is something of a paradox. It is bewilderingly simple yet utterly alien at the same time. The good news is that you can already do it. Mindfulness is an innate quality of every human being. By practising mindfulness, we are trying to develop more of it, which can be an extremely useful thing indeed.

Take care, and go easy on yourself.

[piedwagtail91]

it may not be you , it may be the quality of teaching.
if dbt is only touching on mindfulness the teacher may not have the necessary skills to teach mindfulness properly.

[Susiegreenbean]

I will say I doubt it's the teacher. Having an undiagnosed and ignored learning disability my whole life gives me some awareness of when it's them (the instructor) or me. She is very dedicated. And I have witnessed many gain what they need from her. Interestingly enough this makes me feel worse. I'm not even happy for the ones that come and go. I'm fed up. And all I do is read on the subject. On the treadmill, in bed, in line at the store.
Borderline personality disorder (or emotional regulation disorder or BPD) is accurately described as being in Hell.
The article link was very helpful in the description, I think. But does it mean I have to think about and name my feelings? "I don't know how I feel" is a common phrase with bpd. Many of us (me included) lack the ability to know what we are feeling. Is there a way to do mindfulness without having to know/ be aware of/ understand how you feel?

[Gareth]

I think you can be aware of a feeling without knowing what it is that you are feeling.

How does this "unknown feeling" manifest itself in your body? Is it a tightness in the stomach, or do you feel it in your head? Can you give it a shape or a colour? Can you recognise it as the same feeling that you had last week or last Christmas?

With mindfulness all we are required to do is notice things; try and be curious about the things that you are experiencing.

These things are very difficult to convey in a forum. It maybe that a mindfulness course with the experience that a teacher could bring would be the best way for you to learn this.

It's not easy, but I'm sure that it could have something to offer you.

[piedwagtail91]

thanks, it's always worth checking, sometimes if mindfulness is part of another therapy it's not 'as deep'. don't let my(in this case) inappropriate comments spoil that bond/trust.

"But does it mean I have to think about and name my feelings? "I don't know how I feel" is a common phrase with bpd. Many of us (me included) lack the ability to know what we are feeling. Is there a way to do mindfulness without having to know/ be aware of/ understand how you feel?"

i feel i'm more or less repeating gareth. but fully agree that it's difficult over a forum to discuss it properly.


usually in mbct session five you start working with how you feel/what emotions are present.

if you don't know 'what you're feeling' are you still able to identify with or relate to body sensations present when you are experiencing something?

in a usual mbct session as you probably know you bring to mind the situation to bring on the emotion/feeling. then name it, which is the bit you can't do, then you try as best you can to let go of thoughts and stories attached to that feeling and take your awareness into your body.
i'm just wondering if you're able to miss out the naming bit and go straight from noticing that you're experiencing something you can't put a name to, to finding those sensations in the body, exploring them breathing into them and waiting and becoming aware of any change in them, seeing how that then affects the way you felt at the beginning?
if you found that you're able to do it this way it may be possible to recognise sensations in the body first, which does happen a lot and is talked about in the mindful way workbook,, and realise something is kicking off emotion wise.

i'm not sure but i think there may be specially tailored mindfulness courses for bpd , i'm pretty sure there is one for bipolar. if i remember correctly the practices and sessions are are shorter.

if it's ok to ask,what sort of practices are you using at home and what length are they?
we had a brilliant young 'person' (sorry unsure of confidentiality here) with diagnosed learning disabilities on one of our courses a while ago,'they' struggled with the longer practices but the shorter ones really helped 'them' and 'they' made good progress.