Constant mindfulness is so tiring!!

[noegoman]

Hi everyone!! I'm new there, I hope i'll be able to help the community to make it better. I'm not english, so if you notice some mistakes when I write, please tell me, I'm just on the way of improving my skills on the language.

Well, the topic...

I have practising meditation and mindfulness during two months more or less, and I really can feel the benefits. But when I keep my attention in my daily life, after some time my mind gets very tired. I'm not saying I can't focus on the present, I say that the concentration it recquires is so big that I finish with my head without aims to follow the present moment. I tell myself: "I'm doing it right, I'm focusing on the present moment and enjoying this awareness a lot, and I can do it for more time, but my head is going to explode."

I don't know if it hasn't happened to you, or if it is totally normal, and I hope you can give me some experiences or facts that could help me

Thanks!

[JonW]

Hi noegoman.
Welcome to the forum.
You say you've been practicing mindfulness/meditation for two months or so. It would be useful to know how you are following your practice. By book? By "live" group course? Via internet?
Please elaborate.
Thanks, Jon

[noegoman]

I had read some books (the power of now, meditation ones, vipassana books...) and I sat sometimes, one or two days a week, before this period.

When I say I've been two months or so practising mindfulness it's that in the last two months, I've been meditating a minimum of one time a day, and keeping concentration in the present moment as long as i can.
As a consequence of that, i've progressed a lot, so that now i am able to focus on the present a lot more than when i began, but now I've had this problem I have said.

[Gareth]

I'm not an expert, but I don't think that mindfulness should be tiring. It is perfectly possible to have your attention in the present moment in a restful way.

It sometimes requires a concious effort to bring my mind back, but I'm not sure that this should be physically draining. I'll be interested to see what others say here.

[piedwagtail91]

I'm not an expert, but I don't think that mindfulness should be tiring. It is perfectly possible to have your attention in the present moment in a restful way.

It sometimes requires a concious effort to bring my mind back, but I'm not sure that this should be physically draining. I'll be interested to see what others say here.

i agree that mindfulness shouldn't be tiring, if it's taking so much effort then maybe you're trying too hard?
i find mindfulness is something that just happens without a 'tiring sort of effort'. i notice when i'm not mindful and then change!
it does need you to be concious/aware though.
i don't think it's possible to be mindful 24/7. i know my mind needs some free time.

[DonQ]

Hi noegoman,

I’m also new here (and I’m not native English either) and this is my first post.
I think that you expect “too much, too soon.” When you are in daily life activities, your mind already have a lot of thing to do. If you also burden your mind with mindfulness practice, trying to focus only on the present moment, maybe it will stress your mind too much. Mindfulness all the time, being in the present all the time, are the end (outcome), not the means. Though the means is also trying to get that outcomes a lot but as it’s said, one day at a time.
If the knife is a tool to cut something (metaphor for cutting some kiles/passion/bad thoughts etc. in us), it still depends on how strength of our hands to hold it (adult hand versus a child hand.) So, practice is very the key.
Hope this helps.

[BioSattva]

As others have said above mindfulness is not about tiring effort to stay in the present moment. The only 'work', as far as I am aware, is bringing the mind back to the anchor when one has noticed it has wandered, and this is something which can be done very easily.

What may be making you tired is the conscious effort to remain in the present. There is a famous saying in Zen: "You can't use the mind to move the mind" - it's like trying to smooth the ripples on the surface of water using one's hand - you will just cause more ripples and become frustrated.

One of the 7 pillars of mindfulness (as explained in Jon Kabat-Zinn's book 'Full Catastrophe Living') is trust, and another is patience. The breath is a wonderful anchor because it shows us how our body will look after us no matter what we do - even in the middle of self-hating thoughts, the breath is always there reflexively doing it's thing; caring for us unconditionally - delivering nourishing oxygen to our body. We can trust in our biology (in our true nature) in this way, and if one is patient and allows one's reflexive ability to remain in the present grow in a natural way (most often more slowly than we want it to) then, like a great oak tree which slowly sends down roots into the ground, we will be able to withstand strong winds while remaining peaceful and centred.

You need to get out of the way of your body so that it can do it's thing - it sounds like your mind is trying to do your body's job. I often quote this Chinese saying: "You can't pull on the plant to make it grow" - it puts unhealthy stress on the plant, and one gets tired in the process.

My advice is keep it as simple as possible - watch the breath in the body, bring the mind back when you notice it has wandered, smile inwardly and relax when you have returned to the breath (as if you have returned home after a long necessary journey through the wilderness), and repeat until the bell rings.

[basejumper31]

I have stumbled across this thread (and this website also) as a result of looking for ways to intensify my own mindfulness practice, which is progressing, but seems to naturally become tougher the more intense I am able to make it. I acknowledge that perhaps it is, as one respondent said, that one cannot 'pull the plant to make it grow faster' and that my seeking a 'shortcut' to making my practice more constant/seamless is something I need to become mindful of, or also that, as Kwan Um Zen Master Soen Sa Nim says "Don't make easy, don't make hard. Don't make anything, only go straight". Perhaps this is me veering from 'straight' but if so then I am allowing myself this deviation lol

BioSattva, you said the following:

"As others have said above mindfulness is not about tiring effort to stay in the present moment. The only 'work', as far as I am aware, is bringing the mind back to the anchor when one has noticed it has wandered, and this is something which can be done very easily."

From my own experience, I would say that the effort is not only in bringing the mind back to the present once we become aware that it has wandered, but also that once we bring the mind back to the present, we can also exert effort then to consciously keep it in the present. Otherwise it is perhaps possible to bring the mind back frequently, but then also lose the present moment just as frequently, so we are getting brief glimpses of presence, whereas if we consciously make an effort to maintain presence each time we regain it, surely we can improve our practice further. Like with muscles in the body, we could do 50 press-ups quickly, and gain strength from each one, or we could do 50 press-ups holding the muscles mid-way each time, for as long as possible, and attain a great deal more strength this way. Imperfect anaolgy I know but I hope it transmits the point.

I am inclined to agree with the original post - mindfulness, if you really "try hard" can be very tiring! I think it is all relative to how strong your practice is already, and how much more effort you're putting in than you recently have been, rather like physical training. Just my opinion (Already a fail lol) but I don't think there's an answer/shortcut for this. I think we reap just what we sow.

I'm also aware that all of this is only relatively true, and all inhabits the realm of opposites. I am mindful of my desire to continue writing now to more forcibly make my point, and in doing so am aware that this is not necessary lol

Namaste one and all

[JonW]

Hi basejumper31,
Welcome to the forum.
My one observation is that you make mindfulness sound like very hard work: "intensify", "exert effort", "improve", "like with muscles in the body"…it does sound as if you're talking about a fitness regime. Mindfulness is a much more gentle process than that. The bottom line is that you need to be self-compassionate. This is not about self-improvement. This is not actually about striving to get anywhere. It's about turning towards where you already are. That's mindfulness.
Best wishes,
Jon

[quirky_friend]

I'm about a 2 month mark and I'm lucky if I manage more than 2 hours of mindfulness each day...I'm happy with that. Outside meditation, I try to do mindfulness on my morning walk, eating breakfast and on the morning bus. I also try to do a mindful session heading into sleep as this was my troublesome point during the acute episode of depression.
From a Quaker perspective, the still waiting can be very difficult unless you have a lot of experience, I still struggle to go past 60 min, and I've been part of that for 25 years.
I sometimes think of the practices of mindfulness being like holding a soap bubble... You need a very light touch